Has this been worth it?  To be honest I don’t know.  Maybe it has, maybe it hasn’t.  Have I made a difference — even a wee bit?  You decide.  But right through January and February I’ve written these weekly posts — eight of them so far!  Through March I want to think about the future and my ongoing involvement with Ulster Scots and its development.  Development is a lovely term — very optimistic and all that — but it is a bit aimless unless you’re specific.  So to be explicit — what are the realistic and proactive schemes, ventures and enterprises we should pursue.  Okay, that I should pursue.  Okay, okay that I have the actual ability and opportunity to pursue!  There are things that are absolutely necessary for Ulster Scots to grow and flourish. A recurring theme is infrastructure — for the (Ulster) Scots Leid it simply doesn’t exist.  An issue is funding, not that there isn’t any, but it is vested in groups / organisations whilst creativity occurs with individuals.  But it slightly more nuanced even than that.  If language is not seen as important by groups / organisations then there is no one to collaborate with — i.e. seek the funding and roll out the programs!  

What went wrong with Narnia?

I wrote and developed ‘A Dander Through Narnia’ in my own time (there was no funding I could apply for).  The performances were then booked by Derry City and Strabane District Council, Causeway Coast and Glens Council, Library’s NI and Cultúrlann uí Chanáin, but none of the places you might expect — and this is very important to development!  This show should have ticked so many boxes: CS Lewis and Northern Irish literature; world famous children’s stories; performance, art work and the centrality of the (Ulster) Scots Leid.  But this got nowhere!  And believe you and me I tried everywhere you could think of!  It is now basically dead in the water.  There are still lots of things I could do with it — but I simply can’t — nor do I even want to annoy myself thinking about them!  Guess what’s needed funding and infrastructure — so let’s move on quickly!

I think the point of this story is that you aren’t at the mercy of the funders, you’re at the mercy of those who have been funded by the funders because you can’t be funded! 

Below Minimum Wage 

There is a dreadfully tired perception that stereotypically unionist culture is not creative but stereotypically nationalist culture is.  That is just not true.  But there is a problem — though I’m not even sure how to articulate what it is!  A few years ago a firm approached me about writing something, they got money (funding) and now needed creatives to create.  Anyhow being a bit naive I got going, but we’d agreed nothing, so eventually money came up, they told me what they’d pay me, and I told them that my time divided by that amount of money equaled way below minimum wage!  Anyhow after a bit of back and forth they wouldn’t pay something that would have equaled minimum wage, and it was left with me.  I being thran withdrew from the project.  I’d the work done and was over a barrel, so handing it over would have been easier, but principle felt  better.  I don’t even know how to explain what happened.  But I do know that my time and creativity were not valued.  It also meant that — unless I sold my soul — my work wouldn’t see the light of day — and that particular piece of work never did . I think the point of this story is that you aren’t at the mercy of the funders, you’re at the mercy of those who have been funded by the funders because you can’t be funded!  And as a fun appendix then next time I saw them their triumphs were being very publicly lauded as a case study on success!  

Focus on what you can

Anyhow, this month — actually the first few weeks of it will make a huge difference to me personally — positive or negative. I can’t say much — but there are a number of things that will direct or affect my path for years to come — and I’ve absolutely no control over them — any of them!  So that means I need to focus on the things I can do.  Therefore my personal attention has started to turn towards the time between the spring equinox and the summer solstice.  In nature this is a season of growth.  These post have been very helpful to me, and people who think about these kinds of things.  But what next?  Do I do what I have been doing — ploughing on alone — or do I actually do something totally different?

The start of an idea?

I have an idea and I’ve tentatively started working on it:  I’ve a name, a logo, and a structure — hey everyone’s skill set is different and that’s just basic planning! Between March 20th and June 21st, between the spring equinox and the summer solstice there are 93 days and If the idea gets anywhere I could use everyone of them! However, this series of posts have taught me something else — the more (Uster) Scots Leid in the post title the less people who read it.  I’ve always loved numbers and patterns and this one stands out a mile.  The (Ulster) Scots Leid has always been very important to me for personal expression, but the more I have worked with members of the Irish language community the more I have come to understand my own linguistic heritage and what needs to be done.   So if I follow through with my idea I will have to do so in the full knowledge it will not be supported in the same manner Irish is assisted and nurtured.  And is this the best use of my time?  Remember the more (Ulster) Scots Leid in the title the less readers, the death of Narnia, and that lauded companies are more than happy with low pay and high praise.  The only real change in my thinking is being honest about the lack of support, no one is coming to help, and your only choice is will you do something or not!   And for once I really don’t know what to do!